[Clive frowns, thankful that Cid can't see his face but also put out that he is being laughed at. He's having too much fun.]
My experience in this department is pretty limited and I'd rather not look like a complete idiot. It's not difficult to find someone when you have both survived something that should have killed you and are still amped up. Not exactly a thing that'll work here.
I think you underestimate the power of the casual charm you have, Cid. I don't have that. Whenever I try something like 'just giving someone a compliment' it comes out earnest in a way that isn't exactly sexy.
[Probably. Clive sighs.]
Man or woman is fine. I haven't exactly had a lot of choice in partners before so I'm -
[Clive groans quietly.]
I don't really know what I like when it comes to someone I am just having sex with, okay? And don't laugh! This is weird for me, alright?
Come on, strapping lad like you? I’m an old man. You don’t even have to really talk or initiate. I’ll show you Chirpr. Lovely young woman asked if anyone would fancy a fuck, and I asked if she had a bit of time that night to meet at the pub. We didn’t even finish the first round of drinks.
Even Barnabas gets laid- forget talking, he barely has a pulse.
[The telltale sound of Cid smoking punctuates the second of silence. ]
And even so, you can’t be coy now after whatever the hell all that on stage was. You could just do that. That’d work.
[Now he’s calling him charming. And calling Barnabas hot.]
You think he’s more attractive than you are? Why not just do what he does?
[he pauses.] You like Barnabas?
I know you’re desperate, but Barnabas? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were coming onto me, too.
[He sighs.]
This is clearly driving you mad. You just need some practice. Why don’t we get a drink and you can practice lines on me for a while? Or glares from across the room, like a certain someone.
[That’s almost grim. He knows that dour face well. ]
Listen, Clive. If you’re so desperate, I’m sure I could set you up with someone. You’ve got to get this under control. It’s going to make you make a mistake or do something you regret.
Are you sure you can’t think of something more specific than “Anyone at all”?
I don't want someone who is just going to use me for their pleasure and leave. I don't necessarily need someone to stay the night, but I want someone who will take their time and explore. Who will let me do the same. I don't know a lot about what I like and I want to learn that.
So you want it bad, but you don’t even know what you want. I understand exploring, but…
[He just went through this with someone else. Clive needs it desperately, but he’s got the kind of criteria that takes luck or patience. And he wasn’t sure if Clive was actually all that lucky.]
Do you even know which end of the buggering you’re trying to be on?
I need to get it out of my system before I do something stupid.
[Clive sighs. Cid could hear the rasp of Clive rubbing his hand over his mouth.]
That would depend on who it ended up being. I enjoy both. I like being on the giving end of oral sex. Don't have much experience in receiving it but the few times I have it was disappointing. Probably more on the person who did it than the act itself. I enjoy the company of both men and women. I want something that will last more than 10 minutes. I want someone who kisses during sex. I can probably come up with more but it would take time.
[Clive is seriously considering just crawling into a hole and not coming out for another 50 years.]
No. No, I’m not uncomfortable. [He’s uncomfortable. Way too sober for this conversation. This sort of thing was a four drink minimum between him and Otto- and it was never like this.]
Because it’s just absurd, Clive. You’ve got a young, smart, beautiful woman waiting for you back home- Who is both very much alive and very much fond of you.
I don’t need you getting attached to me like this, Clive.
Why do you do that? Talk like you’re worth fuckall? Do you even realize how important you are to others? You act like you’re this, I don’t know, transient burden on life.
[The bed creaks again in the background followed by the thud of boots on wood.]
Well I hate to break it to you, but whether you want me to get attached to you or not, that happened a long time ago.
[The opening and slamming of a door, steps on cobblestones.]
I don’t know how long I’ll have with you. For all I know you could be gone tomorrow and what will we have had to show for it? You telling me that what? You’re bad for me?
[The creaking of hinges and the thud of heavy wood.]
It’s not about wanting to fuck you. Would I enjoy that? Yeah probably. Have I thought about it before? Yes. You know what all of this comes down to, Cid?
[Boots crunching on gravel, the sound of crickets soft trills.]
That I have you with me here and now and I am going to make the most of that. I love Jill. We both know that. What I feel for her doesn’t change what I feel for you and it doesn’t diminish it in either direction.
[Clive’s breathing starts getting a little labored.]
I have the chance to get to know you better now and I’m going to take it. If that scares you then tough. I lost you once. It messed something up in me, but it also taught me something.
[The sound of air movement in the speaker quiets, no more crunching gravel. Only the soft whisper of grass on the wind and those gentle cricket trills.]
We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t know how much time any of us has left. So what do you think we do with chances that we are given, Cid? We take them.
[Clive takes a deep breath.]
Now. I’m outside with a beautiful view of the moon. The breeze is nice. The sky is clear. I’ll ping you my location. You can come see me or you can stay wherever it is you are. That’s your choice. But know this, Cidolfus Telamon, you’re stuck with me so you better get used to me being around.
[This all sucks in a way that Cid is not keen to muddle through. But he can hardly help himself. He tosses it all around in his mind, and when that starts to hurt, he uncorks the booze until it doesn’t anymore.]
[And then he walks, stumbling, in the middle of the night, towards the pin on his HUD and the ache in his heart until he comes across him finally. Clive, wreathed in flowers like a maiden in a casket. He gets down onto his hands and knees, still without anything to say. He lays on his back there, next to Clive’s slumbering body and joins him, hands folded over his midsection.]
[He isn't sure when, exactly, he fell asleep or how long he had been out, but a gentle breeze rustling some grass against his cheek pulls him gently from his slumber. He knew that his hip would smart from where it had been pressed into the hard ground. He thinks about going back to his bed, that maybe it is time to call it, and opens his eyes.
There he was. Bathed in the still gentle moonlight, pale blue flowers framing his form looking almost as if they are glowing with the light of the satellite above. Clive doesn't dare move, wondering if he is still asleep. The gentle perfume of the flowers mixes with the telltale scent of alcohol and there, underlying everything as always, the slight sting of ozone, an earthy tone of petrichor.]
Cid?
[Clive's voice is barely above a whisper. If the man isn't awake, he doesn't want to rouse him.]
[Cid is drunk, and he is out. He hasn’t been asleep that long, so the booze still keeps him firmly asleep. This was sort of a rare sight. Cid was often the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up, after all.]
[Clive turns to face the man and props himself up, resting on his forearm to watch Cid sleep. It was a rare sight to see the man this vulnerable and Clive decides to enjoy the moment. He reaches over to tilt some flowers away from Cid's face before they can start tickling. He lets out a quiet sigh, wondering if the moonlight made everyone look beautiful or if he was just biased.
Doesn't matter.
Clive sits up enough to pull his cloak off and drape it over the older man. If his smell was anything to go by, the guy drank half of a liquor cabinet by himself and while he might feel warm, he didn't want to risk it.
Softly and with a slight edge of affection, he whispers.]
You're a pain in the ass, you know that?
[Clive settles back down on his side, using his arm as a pillow. And for a little bit, he'll let himself feel the warmth of knowing that the other man came. Where they were going, he didn't know. What he did know was that, regardless of the outcome, he wanted to know Cid better. It would be a fight, he knows that, but it was one he was willing to take on.]
...I missed you.
[And with that, he let the moonlight blanket them and the crickets sing their distant song.]
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levindicated) wrote2020-06-28 07:20 pm
no subject
My experience in this department is pretty limited and I'd rather not look like a complete idiot. It's not difficult to find someone when you have both survived something that should have killed you and are still amped up. Not exactly a thing that'll work here.
I think you underestimate the power of the casual charm you have, Cid. I don't have that. Whenever I try something like 'just giving someone a compliment' it comes out earnest in a way that isn't exactly sexy.
[Probably. Clive sighs.]
Man or woman is fine. I haven't exactly had a lot of choice in partners before so I'm -
[Clive groans quietly.]
I don't really know what I like when it comes to someone I am just having sex with, okay? And don't laugh! This is weird for me, alright?
no subject
Even Barnabas gets laid- forget talking, he barely has a pulse.
[The telltale sound of Cid smoking punctuates the second of silence. ]
And even so, you can’t be coy now after whatever the hell all that on stage was. You could just do that. That’d work.
Clive the overthinker strikes again
One, not old. Two, older men do it for a lot of people. Also circling back to the fact that you are charming in a seductive way that I am not.
Barnabas is also an extremely attractive man who could probably just look at someone and that would be enough.
[And then Clive's heart leaps straight into his throat and he coughs. Shit.]
I can't exactly walk into a pub in a bunny suit and start touching strangers. That's creepy.
no subject
You think he’s more attractive than you are? Why not just do what he does?
[he pauses.] You like Barnabas?
I know you’re desperate, but Barnabas? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were coming onto me, too.
[He sighs.]
This is clearly driving you mad. You just need some practice. Why don’t we get a drink and you can practice lines on me for a while? Or glares from across the room, like a certain someone.
no subject
[Cid would hear the sound of a muffled groan as Clive yells into a pillow. There is a slight pause before Clive's voice comes back unmuffled.]
I would appreciate that. And no, I'm not going to glare from across the room. That will probably get me nowhere.
no subject
Fine, you didn’t say that.
[He stifles a laugh. It comes out dry and airy.]
Funny thing, you’re so sure your approach won’t work. Have you even tried?
no subject
Actually... You're right. It has worked.
[Clive sighs.]
It was before I got out of the military though so that was pretty much my default facial expression.
no subject
Listen, Clive. If you’re so desperate, I’m sure I could set you up with someone. You’ve got to get this under control. It’s going to make you make a mistake or do something you regret.
Are you sure you can’t think of something more specific than “Anyone at all”?
no subject
I don't want someone who is just going to use me for their pleasure and leave. I don't necessarily need someone to stay the night, but I want someone who will take their time and explore. Who will let me do the same. I don't know a lot about what I like and I want to learn that.
no subject
[He just went through this with someone else. Clive needs it desperately, but he’s got the kind of criteria that takes luck or patience. And he wasn’t sure if Clive was actually all that lucky.]
Do you even know which end of the buggering you’re trying to be on?
no subject
[Clive sighs. Cid could hear the rasp of Clive rubbing his hand over his mouth.]
That would depend on who it ended up being. I enjoy both. I like being on the giving end of oral sex. Don't have much experience in receiving it but the few times I have it was disappointing. Probably more on the person who did it than the act itself. I enjoy the company of both men and women. I want something that will last more than 10 minutes. I want someone who kisses during sex. I can probably come up with more but it would take time.
[Clive is seriously considering just crawling into a hole and not coming out for another 50 years.]
no subject
…I see.
[RIP Clive. His tone is not the most supportive.]
Well. It’s good to know what you like and what you’re after-
[Cid takes a draw of his smoke.]
Now, what would be stupid?
no subject
What's the matter?
[His teasing tone takes a little bit of a gruff edge.]
Is hearing about what I like making you... uncomfortable?
no subject
Fine. So what? You like sucking cock.
Doesn’t answer either of my questions.
no subject
[Clive’s voice is a low rumble across the line. Oh, this is good.]
Pretty damn good at it, too. I don’t have much of a gag reflex. Can hold my breath for a pretty long time, too.
[It’s time for Cid to be uncomfortable this time. Also still ignoring the question.]
no subject
But I haven’t had morning wood in four years and if I want it hard I have to slap it around a bit. You’re not going to distract me.
[He indeed must resist. He has a feeling he can come back to this one anyway.]
no subject
Not knowing bugging you that bad, huh?
[How does it feel to want to know something about someone and not get what you want, Cid?]
no subject
[Though the matter of Clive wanting to top or bottom could be resolved quite easily if he took him up on the blow job.]
no subject
[Cid would hear the creak of a bed in the background.]
For someone who tries to come off as self-assured, you can be pretty insecure. How is it so outlandish for me to find you attractive?
no subject
I don’t need you getting attached to me like this, Clive.
[What a moodkiller. Sorry, Clive.]
no subject
[Clive stops, taking a few deep breaths.]
Why do you do that? Talk like you’re worth fuckall? Do you even realize how important you are to others? You act like you’re this, I don’t know, transient burden on life.
[The bed creaks again in the background followed by the thud of boots on wood.]
Well I hate to break it to you, but whether you want me to get attached to you or not, that happened a long time ago.
[The opening and slamming of a door, steps on cobblestones.]
I don’t know how long I’ll have with you. For all I know you could be gone tomorrow and what will we have had to show for it? You telling me that what? You’re bad for me?
[The creaking of hinges and the thud of heavy wood.]
It’s not about wanting to fuck you. Would I enjoy that? Yeah probably. Have I thought about it before? Yes. You know what all of this comes down to, Cid?
[Boots crunching on gravel, the sound of crickets soft trills.]
That I have you with me here and now and I am going to make the most of that. I love Jill. We both know that. What I feel for her doesn’t change what I feel for you and it doesn’t diminish it in either direction.
[Clive’s breathing starts getting a little labored.]
I have the chance to get to know you better now and I’m going to take it. If that scares you then tough. I lost you once. It messed something up in me, but it also taught me something.
[The sound of air movement in the speaker quiets, no more crunching gravel. Only the soft whisper of grass on the wind and those gentle cricket trills.]
We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t know how much time any of us has left. So what do you think we do with chances that we are given, Cid? We take them.
[Clive takes a deep breath.]
Now. I’m outside with a beautiful view of the moon. The breeze is nice. The sky is clear. I’ll ping you my location. You can come see me or you can stay wherever it is you are. That’s your choice. But know this, Cidolfus Telamon, you’re stuck with me so you better get used to me being around.
no subject
[And then he walks, stumbling, in the middle of the night, towards the pin on his HUD and the ache in his heart until he comes across him finally. Clive, wreathed in flowers like a maiden in a casket. He gets down onto his hands and knees, still without anything to say. He lays on his back there, next to Clive’s slumbering body and joins him, hands folded over his midsection.]
no subject
There he was. Bathed in the still gentle moonlight, pale blue flowers framing his form looking almost as if they are glowing with the light of the satellite above. Clive doesn't dare move, wondering if he is still asleep. The gentle perfume of the flowers mixes with the telltale scent of alcohol and there, underlying everything as always, the slight sting of ozone, an earthy tone of petrichor.]
Cid?
[Clive's voice is barely above a whisper. If the man isn't awake, he doesn't want to rouse him.]
no subject
no subject
Doesn't matter.
Clive sits up enough to pull his cloak off and drape it over the older man. If his smell was anything to go by, the guy drank half of a liquor cabinet by himself and while he might feel warm, he didn't want to risk it.
Softly and with a slight edge of affection, he whispers.]
You're a pain in the ass, you know that?
[Clive settles back down on his side, using his arm as a pillow. And for a little bit, he'll let himself feel the warmth of knowing that the other man came. Where they were going, he didn't know. What he did know was that, regardless of the outcome, he wanted to know Cid better. It would be a fight, he knows that, but it was one he was willing to take on.]
...I missed you.
[And with that, he let the moonlight blanket them and the crickets sing their distant song.]